What Really Happens on the Black Pearl
by Butterflys-Scare-Me
Summary: Jack has invited Will and Elizabeth to spend a life at sea with him; free and independent. (This is my first Fanfic. so please R&R. Thanx!)
1. Pretty Boy on the Pearl

Pretty Boy on the Pearl  
  
[The Black Pearl is in the hands of Captain Jack Sparrow. He invites his old pal, Will Turner and his girl Elizabeth Swan, to join him for a life at sea on the Black Pearl]  
  
[Jack is sitting quietly humming "A Pirates Life For Me" when Elizabeth comes in]  
  
Jack: 'Ello love!  
  
Elizabeth: How many feakin' times do I have to tell you! I am not your love nor have I ever been your love, so shut the hell up!  
  
Jack: Sheesh... I was just joking! [mumbles] That time of the month, eh?  
  
Elizabeth: I heard that!  
  
[Will emerges from below deck with a black eye]  
  
Jack: What the hell happened to you?  
  
Will: I got beat up by the crew again. They kept calling me a pretty boy and can you believe it, they insulted my hair! After that, they were just begging for a beating, so I had to give it to them!  
  
Elizabeth: Oh, you poor dear!  
  
Jack: If I do say so myself Will, I can see why they call you that, You are awful pretty!  
  
Will: Shut up... You're the one with the beads in your hair.  
  
Jack: But laddy, it works with my look... Don't you see it? Your hair is just...  
  
Will: Don't even say it!  
  
Jack: Whatever... [cough] prettyboy [cough]  
  
[Will walks sadly to his room below deck]  
  
Jack: I ALMOST feel sorry for the poor lad... ALMOST... hahahahaha!  
  
Elizabeth: You are such a meanie! You don't even consider anyone else's feelings!  
  
Jack: Pirate, savvy?  
  
Elizabeth: Yeah, I know... How many times do you have to use that ridiculous line?  
  
Jack: A lot.  
  
Elizabeth: I'm bored. You are pretty boring for a pirate, you know?  
  
Jack: Never! I am a pirate! I am never boring, you fool!  
  
Elizabeth: In your dreams...  
  
Jack: Oh, no. You know nothing of my dreams... I dream of nothing but you... in a birthday suit...Ahh... yes I see it now...  
  
Elizabeth: I am disgusted. You are such a pervert!  
  
Jack: He he... I know...  
  
[Jack bites into an apple]  
  
Jack: You know, [spits apple pieces everywhere as he talks] I've been thinking about Barbosa a lot lately...  
  
Elizabeth: Oh really...  
  
Jack: ... and you know what conclusion I have come to? [Spits a piece of apple at Elizabeth's face]  
  
Elizabeth: [wipes the piece of apple off of her face] What, for heavens sake what!?  
  
Jack: He was a very handsome man. I mean aside from him being dead he was rather, how do you say it? Hot?  
  
Elizabeth: Are you a eunuch?  
  
Jack: Of course not, why would you think such a thing?  
  
Elizabeth: [sighs] Never mind, you idiot! [Storms out of the room leaving Jack to eat by himself, in peace] 


	2. Will's Hair Disaster

Will's Hair Disaster  
  
[The next day Jack wakes up and hears Will cry for help.]  
  
Will: Help!  
  
Jack: Blimey! Hold on a moment! I've got to put on my eyeliner!  
  
Will: Ok, Well hurry up!  
  
Jack: Beauty takes time, don't ya know?  
  
[Two hours later...]  
  
Will: JACK! Oh, never mind... I will get Elizabeth to help me, Elizabeth!  
  
Elizabeth: What?  
  
Will: Could you please come here and assist me?  
  
Elizabeth: Okay!  
  
[Elizabeth walks over to Will where she sees him fixing his hair and looking very worried.]  
  
Will: Will you just look at these split ends? Oh my god! I need to re-perm my hair too! Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear! Since we have no way of getting to a professional stylist, would you cut and perm my hair for me? I would ask Jack, but he is much too caught up in himself and his makeup...  
  
Elizabeth: Sure, it's not like I have a life anyway.  
  
Will: Oh, thank you!  
  
Elizabeth: [Sarcastically] Anytime...  
  
[Elizabeth does Will's hair.]  
  
Elizabeth: Look in the mirror... it's... umm... great...  
  
[Elizabeth hands Will the mirror. Will looks into the mirror.]  
  
Will: Oh my god! It's PINK!  
  
Elizabeth: I though I would dye your hair too, but I think I mixed in the wrong color... I'm sorry... But you still love me, don't you?  
  
Will: Hmm... Let me think about that question... [Jack walks in looking as fabulous as ever.]  
  
Jack: What is- Wow! Your hair is-  
  
Will: PINK! YES! I KNOW! It is all Elizabeth's fault!  
  
[Will starts to cry.]  
  
Jack: Calm down me boy!  
  
Elizabeth: The color will wash out, Will.  
  
Will: Well, I'm not speaking to you until it does.  
  
[Will goes into the water to start in the long grueling task ahead of him.]  
  
Jack: Ha ha! Good one! So, why did you die it pink?  
  
Elizabeth: I meant to dye it light blonde, like Legolas.  
  
Jack: Now, there's a handsome man.  
  
Elizabeth: I agree, but I guess I just mixed in the wrong color. Oops.  
  
Jack: Lizzie, can I call you Lizzie?  
  
Elizabeth: NO!  
  
Jack: Whatever, I think I will anyway. You should go apologize to him.  
  
Elizabeth: I don't feel like it right now. He will forgive me... Trust me...  
  
Jack: How are you so sure of this?  
  
Elizabeth: Are you kidding? Look at me. I'm a hottie. He could never resist me.  
  
Jack: You keep believing that.  
  
Elizabeth: Ok, I will.  
  
[Elizabeth goes into her bedroom to rest.]  
  
Jack: Hmm... Why do people always leave me all alone? I feel unloved. Why, why, WHY?  
  
[Jack gets up and goes up to the deck.] Jack: Hmm... Maybe since I am the captain of this boat, I should be steering it. That's an idea.  
  
[Jack walks over to the steering wheel and starts to sing.] 


End file.
